more dégagé:1 but this old gentleman, not liking the freedom of my air, has been pleased to skewer down my arms like a rabbit.
SIR TUN. Is it then possible that this should be the true Lord Foppington at last? 260
LORD FOP. Why, what do you see in his face to make you doubt of it? Sir, without presuming to have any extraordinary opinion of my figure, give me leave to tell you, if you had seen as many lords as I have done, you would not think it impos 265 sible a person of a worse taille2 than mine might be a modern man of quality.
SIR TUN. Unbind him, slaves. ----- My lord, I'm struck dumb: I can only beg pardon by signs; but if a sacrifice will appease you, you shall have 270 it. ----- Here, pursue this Tartar, bring him back ----- away, I say! ----- a dog, oons! ----- I'll cut off his cars and his tail, I'll draw out all his teeth, pull his skin over his head ----- and ----- and what shall I do more? 275
SIR JOHN. He does indeed deserve to be made an example of.
LORD FOP. He does deserve to be [châtré],3 stap my vitals.
SIR TUN. May I then hope I have your 280 honor's pardon?
LORD FOP. Sir, we courtiers do nothing without a bribe; that fair young lady might do miracles.
SIR TUN. Hoyden, come hither, Hoyden.
LORD FOP. Hoyden is her name, sir? 285
SIR TUN. Yes, my lord.
LORD FOP. The prettiest name for a song I ever heard.
SIR TUN. My lord ----- here's my girl, she's yours; she has a wholesome body and a virtuous 290 mind; she's a woman complete, both in flesh and in spirit; she has a bag of milled crowns, as scarce as they are, and fifteen hundred a year stitched fast to her tail: so go thy ways, Hoyden.
LORD FOP. Sir, I do receive her like a 295 gentleman.
SIR TUN. Then I'm a happy man, I bless heaven, and if your lordship will give me leave, I will, like a good Christian at Christmas, be very drunk by way of thanksgiving. Come, my noble peer, I be 300 lieve dinner's ready; if your honor pleases to follow me, I'll lead you on to the attack of a venison pasty. Exit SIR TUNBELLY.
LORD FOP. Sir, I wait upon you. ----- Will your ladyship do me the favor of your little finger, 305 madam?
MISS. My lord, I'll follow you presently: I have a little business with my nurse.
LORD FOP. Your ladyship's most humble servant. ----- Come, Sir John, the ladies have desaffaires.4310
Exeunt LORD FOPPINGTON and SIR JOHN.
MISS. So, nurse, we are finely brought to bed! what shall we do now?
NURSE. Ah, dear miss, we are all undone! Mr. Bull, you were used to help a woman to a remedy.
BULL. Alack-a-day, but it's past my skill 315 now; I can do nothing.
NURSE. Who would have thought that ever your invention should have been drained so dry?
MISS. Well, I have often thought old folks fools, and now I'm sure they are so; I have found 320 a way myself to secure us all.
NURSE. Dear lady, what's that?
MISS. Why, if you two will be sure to hold your tongues, and not say a word of what's past, I'll e'en marry this lord too. 325
NURSE. What! two husbands, my dear?
MISS. Why you have had three, good nurse; you may hold your tongue.
NURSE. Ay, but not (all together], sweet child.
MISS. Psha, if you had, you'd ne'er a 330 thought much on't.
NURSE. Oh, but 'tis a sin -- sweeting.
BULL. Nay, that's my business to speak to, nurse: I do confess, to take two husbands for the satisfaction of the flesh is to commit the sin 335 of exorbitancy, but to do it for the peace of the spirit is no more than to be drunk by way of physic: besides, to prevent a parent's wrath is to avoid the sin of disobedience; for when the parent's angry the child is froward. So that upon the whole mat 340 ter, I do think, though miss should marry again, she may be saved.
MISS. I'cod, and I will marry again then, and so there's an end of the story. Exeunt.
Enter COUPLER, YOUNG FASHION, and LORY.
COUP. Well, and so Sir John coming in -----?
Y. FAS. And so Sir John coming in, I thought it might be manners in me to go out, which I did, and getting on horseback as fast as I could, rid away as if the devil had been at the rear of me; what has 5 happened since, heav'n knows.
COUP. I'gad, sirrah, I know as well as heaven,
Y. FAS. What do you know?
COUP. That you are a cuckold.____________________