with laughing to see a senseless flirt, because the creature happens to have a little pride that she calls virtue about her, give herself all the insolent 285 airs of resentment and disdain to an honest fellow that all the while does not care three pinches of snuff if she and her virtue were to run with their last favors through the first regiment of guards -- ha! ha! it puts me in mind of an affair of mine, so im 290 pertinent -----
L. MO. Oh, that's impossible, my lord! -- pray let's hear it.
L. FOP. Why, I happened once to be very well in a certain man of quality's family, and his wife 295 liked me.
L. MO. How do you know she liked you?
L. FOP. Why, from the very moment I told her I liked her she never durst trust herself at the end of a room with me. 300
L. MO. That might be her not liking you.
L. FOP. My lord, women of quality don't use to speak the thing plain; but to satisfy you I did not want encouragement, I never came there in my life but she did immediately smile and borrow my 305 snuff-box.
L. MO. She liked your snuff at least. Well, but how did she use you?
L. FOP. By all that's infamous, she jilted me.
L. MO. How! Jilt you? 310
L. FOP. Ay, death's curse! she jilted me.
L. MO. Pray let's hear.
L. FOP. For when I was pretty well convinced she had a mind to me, I one day made her a hint of an appointment: upon which, with an insolent 315 frown in her face (that made her look as ugly as the devil) she told me that if ever I came thither again her lord should know that she had forbidden me the house before. Did you ever hear of such a slut?
SIR CHA. Intolerable! 320
L. MO. But how did her answer agree with you?
L. FOP. Oh, passionately well, for I stared full in her face and burst out a-laughing, at which she turned upon her heel, gave a crack with her fan like a coach-whip, and bridled out of the room with 325 the air and complexion of an incensed turkey-cock. (A Servant whispers SIR CHARLES.)
L. MO. What did you then?
L. FOP. I -- looked after her, gaped, threw up the sash, and fell a-singing out of the window -- so that you see, my lord, while a man is not in love, 330 there's no great affliction in missing one's way to a woman.
SIR CHA. Ay, ay, you talk this very well, my lord; but now let's see how you dare behave yourself upon action; dinner's served, and the ladies stay for 335 us: there's one within has been too hard for as brisk a man as yourself.
L. MO. I guess who you mean. -- Have a care, my lord: she'll prove your courage for you.
L. FOP. Will she! then she's an undone crea 340 ture. For let me tell you, gentlemen, courage is the whole mystery of making love, and of more use than conduct is in war; for the bravest fellow in Europe may beat his brains out against the stubborn walls of a town -- but -- 345
Women, born to be controlled,
Stoop to the forward and the bold. Exeunl.
The scene continues.
Enter LORD MORELOVE and SIR CHARLES.
L. MO. So! Did not I bear up bravely?
SIR CHA. Admirably! with the best bred insolence in nature! You insulted like a woman of quality when her country-bred husband's jealous of her in the wrong place. 5
L. MO. Ha! ha! Did you observe, when I first came into the room, how carelessly she brushed her eyes over me, and when the company saluted me, stood all the while with her face to the window? ha! ha!
SIR CHA. What astonished airs she gave her 10 self when you asked her what made her so grave upon her old friends.
L. MO. And whenever I offered anything in talk, what affected care she took to direct her observations of it to a third person. 15
SIR CHA. I observed she did not eat above the rump of a pigeon all dinner time.
L. MO. And how she colored when I told her her ladyship had lost her stomach!
SIR CHA. If you keep your temper she's un 20 done.
L. MO. Provided she sticks to her pride, I believe I may.
SIR CHA. Ah! never fear her; I warrant, in the humor she is in she would as soon part with her 25 sense of feeling.
L. MO. Well! what's to be done next?
SIR CHA. Only observe her motions; for by her behavior at dinner I am sure she designs to gall you with my Lord Foppington; if so, you must even 30 stand her fire, and then play my Lady Graveairs upon her, whom I'll immediately pique and prepare for your purpose.____________________