eyes! Then, Jack, her lips! -- O Jack, lips smiling at their own discretion; and if not smiling, more sweetly pouting; more lovely in sullenness! 80
ABS. [aside]. That's she, indeed. -- Well done, old gentleman!
SIR ANTH. Then, Jack, her neck! -- O Jack! Jack!
ABS. And which is to be mine, sir, the niece or the aunt? 85
SIR ANTH. Why, you unfeeling, insensible puppy, I despise you! When I was of your age, such a description would have made me fly like a rocket! The aunt, indeed! -- Odds life! when I ran away with your mother, I would not have touched 90 anything old or ugly to gain an empire.
ABS. Not to please your father; sir?
SIR ANTH. To please my father! ----- Z-----ds! not to please ----- O, my father! -- Oddso! -- yes -- yes! if my father, indeed, had desired -- 95 that's quite another matter. -- Though he wa'n't the indulgent father that I am, Jack.
ABS. I dare say not, sir.
SIR ANTH. But, Jack, you are not sorry to find your mistress is so beautiful? 100
ABS. Sir, I repeat it; if I please you in this affair, 'tis all I desire. Not that I think a woman the worse for being handsome; but, sir, if you please to recollect, you before hinted something about a hump or two, one eye, and a few more graces of that 105 kind. -- Now, without being very nice, I own I should rather choose a wife of mine to have the usual number of limbs, and a limited quantity of back: and though one eye may be very agreeable, yet as the prejudice has always run in favor of two, 110 I would not wish to affect a singularity in that article.
SIR ANTH. What a phlegmatic sot it is! Why, sirrah, you're an anchorite! -- a vile, insensible stock. -- You a soldier! -- you're a walking block, fit only to dust the company's regimentals on! 115 -- Odds life! I've a great mind to marry the girl myself!
ABS. I am entirely at your disposal, sir; if you should think of addressing Miss Languish yourself, I suppose you would have me marry the aunt; 120 or if you should change your mind, and take the old lady -- 'tis the same to me -- I'll marry the niece.
SIR ANTH. Upon my word, Jack, thou'rt either a very great hypocrite, or ----- but come, I know your indifference on such a subject must be all a lie 125 -- I'm sure it must -- come, now -- damn your demure face! -- come, confess, Jack -- you have been lying -- ha'n't you? ((You have been lying, hey? I'll never forgive you, if you ha'n't: -- so now, own, my dear Jack,)) you have been play 130 ing the hypocrite, hey? -- I'll never forgive you if you ha'n't been lying and playing the hypocrite.
ABS. I'm sorry, sir, that the respect and duty which I bear to you should be so mistaken.
SIR ANTH. Hang your respect and duty! 135 But come along with me, I'll write a note to Mrs. Malaprop, and you shall visit the lady directly.
(( ABS. Where does she lodge, sir?
((SIR ANTH. What a dull question! -- Only on the Grove1 here. 140
(( ABS. O! then I can call on her in my way to the coffee-house.
((SIR ANTH. In your way to the coffee-house! You'll set your heart down in your way to the coffee- house, hey? Ah! you leaden-nerved, wooden- 145 hearted dolt! But come along, you shall see her directly;)) her eyes shall be the Promethean torch to you -- come along. I'll never forgive you if you don't come back stark mad with capture and impatience. -- If you don't, egad, I'll marry the 150 girl myself! Exeunt.
FAULK. They told me Julia would return directly; I wonder she is not yet come! -- How mean does this captious, unsatisfied temper of mine appear to my cooler judgment! Yet I know not that I indulge it in any other point: -- but on this one subject, 5 and to this one subject, whom I think I love beyond my life, I am ever ungenerously fretful, and madly capricious! -- I am conscious of it -- yet I cannot correct myself! What tender, honest joy sparkled in her eyes when we met! -- How delicate was 10 the warmth of her expressions! -- I was ashamed to appear less happy -- though I had come resolved to wear a face of coolness and upbraiding. Sir Anthony's presence prevented my proposed expostulations: -- yet I must be satisfied that she has 15 not been so very happy in my absence. -- She is coming! -- Yes! -- I know the nimbleness of her tread when she thinks her impatient Faulkland counts the moments of her stay.
JUL. I had not hoped to see you again so soon. 20
FAULK. Could I, Julia, be contented with my first welcome -- restrained as we were by the presence of a third person?____________________