scores of solemn promises, ((half an hundred 270 vows, under one's hand, with the marks of a dozen or two angels to witness!)) all that's of no consequence, you know. -- To be sure, people will say that Miss didn't know her own mind -- but never mind that:--or perhaps they may be ill- 275 natured enough to hint that the gentleman grew tired of the lady and forsook her -- but don't let that fret you.
LYD. There's no bearing his insolence. (Bursts into tears.)
Enter MRS. MALAPROP and SIR ANTHONY.
MRS. MAL. (entering). Come, we must in 280 terrupt your billing and cooing a while.
LYD. This is worse than your treachery and deceit, you base ingrate! (Sobbing.)
SIR ANTH. What the devil's the matter now! -- Z--ds! Mrs. Malaprop, this is the oddest billing 285 and cooing I ever heard! -- But what the deuce is the meaning of it? -- I'm quite astonished!
ABS. Ask the lady, sir.
MRS. MAL. O mercy! -- I'm quite analysed, for my part! -- Why, Lydia, what is the reason 290 of this?
LYD. Ask the gentleman, ma'am.
SIR ANTH. Z--ds! I shall be in a frenzy! -- Why, Jack, you are not come out to be any one else, are you? 295
MRS. MAL. Aye, sir, there's no more trick, is there? -- You are not like Cerberus, three gentlemen at once, are you?
ABS. You'll not let me speak. -- I say the lady can account for this much better than I can. 300
LYD. Ma'am, you once commanded me never to think of Beverley again- there is the man -- I now obey you: -- for, from this moment, I renounce him forever. Exit LYDIA.
MRS. MAL. O mercy! and miracles! what a 305 turn here is! -- Why sure, Captain, you haven't behaved disrespectfully to my niece?
SIR ANTH. Ha! ha! ha! - - ha! ha! ha! -- now I see it -- ha! ha! ha! -- now I see it -- you have been too lively, Jack. 315
ABS. Nay, sir, upon my word -----
SIR ANTH. Come, no lying, Jack -- I'm sure 'twas so.
MRS. MAL. O Lud! Sir Anthony! -- O fie, Captain! 315
ABS. Upon my soul, ma'am
SIR ANTH. Come, no excuses, Jack; -- why, your father, you rogue, was so before you: -- the blood of the Absolutes was always impatient. -- Ha! ha! ha! poor little Lydia! -- why, you've frightened 320 her, you dog, you have.
ABS. By all that's good, sir -----
SIR ANTH. Z--ds! say no more, I tell you. -- Mrs. Malaprop shall make your peace. -- You must make his peace, Mrs. Malaprop; -- you must tell 325 her 'tis Jack's way -- tell her 'tis all our ways -- it runs in the blood of our family! -- Come, away, Jack -- ha! ha! ha! Mrs. Malaprop -- a young villain! (Pushes him out.)
MRS. MAL. O! Sir Anthony! -- O fie, Cap 330 tain! Exeunt severally.
The North Parade.
Enter SIR Lucius O'TRIGGER.
SIR LUC. I wonder where this Captain Absolute hides himself. -- Upon my conscience! -- these officers are always in one's way in love-affairs: -- I remember I might have married Lady Dorothy Carmine, if it had not been for a little rogue of a 5 major, who ran away with her before she could get a sight of me! -- And I wonder too what it is the ladies can see in them to be so fond of them -- unless it be a touch of the old serpent in 'em, that makes the little creatures be caught, like 10 vipers, with a bit of red cloth. -- Hah! -- isn't this the Captain coming? -- faith it is! -- There is a probability of succeeding about that fellow that is mighty provoking! -- Who the devil is he talking to? (Steps aside.)
Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.
ABS. To what fine purpose I have been plot 15 ting! A noble reward for all my schemes, upon my soul! -- A little gypsy! -- I did not think her romance could have made her so d--n'd absurd either. -- 'Sdeath, I never was in a worse humor in my lifel -- I could cut my own throat, or any so other person's, with the greatest pleasure in the world!
SIR LUC. O, faith! I'm in the luck of it -- I never could have found him in a sweeter temper for my purpose -- to be sure I'm just come in the 25 nick! Now to enter into conversation with him, and so quarrel genteelly. (SIR LUCIUSgoes up to ABSOLUTE.) ----- With regard to that matter, Captain, I must beg leave to differ in opinion with you.
ABS. Upon my word then, you must be a 30 very subtle disputant: -- because, sir, I happened just then to be giving no opinion at all.
SIR LUC. That's no reason. -- For give me leave____________________