MRS. MAL. Sir Lucius O'Trigger! -- O mercy! have they drawn poor little dear Sir Lucius into the scrape? -- Why, how you stand, girl! you have no more feeling than one of the Derbyshire putrefactions!1290
LYD. What are we to do, madam?
MRS. MAL. Why, fly with the utmost felicity, to be sure, to prevent mischief. -- Here, friend -- you can show us the place?
FAG. If you please, ma'am, I will conduct 295 you. -- David, do you look for Sir Anthony.
MRS. MAL. Come, girls! -- this gentleman will exhort us. -- Come, sir, you're our envoy -- lead the way, and we'll precede.
FAG. Not a step before the ladies for the 300 world!
MRS. MAL. You're sure you know the spot?
FAG. I think I can find it, ma'am; and one good thing is we shall hear the report of the pistols as we draw near, so we can't well miss them: never 305 fear, ma'am, never fear. Exeunt, he talking.
Enter ABSOLUTE, putting his sword under his great-coat.
ABS. A sword seen in the streets of Bath2 would raise as great an alarm as a mad-dog. How provoking this is in Faulkland! -- never punctual! I shall be obliged to go without him at last. -- O, the devil! here's Sir Anthony! ----- How shall I escape him? 5
(Muffles up his face, and takes a circle to go off.)
Enter SIR ANTHONY.
SIR ANTH. How one may be deceived at a little distance! Only that I see he don't know me, I could have sworn that was Jack! -- Hey! -- 'Gad's life! it is. -- Why, Jack! -- what are you afraid of? -- hey! -- sure I'm right. -- Why, Jack! -- Jack 10 Absolute! (Goes up to him.)
ABS. Really, sir, you have the advantage of me: -- I don't remember ever to have had the honor ----- my name is Saunderson, at your service.
SIR ANTH. Sir, I beg your pardon -- I took 15 you -- hey! -- why, z--ds! it is ----- stay ----- (Looks up to his face.) -- So, so -- your humble servant, Mr. Saunderson! -- Why, you scoundrel, what tricks are you after now?
ABS. O! a joke, sir, a joke! -- I came here on 20 purpose to look for you, sir.
SIR ANTH. You did! Well, I am glad you were so lucky: -- but what are you muffled up so for? -- what's this for? -- hey?
ABS. 'Tis cool, sir; isn't it? -- rather chilly, 25 somehow: -- but I shall be late -- I have a particular engagement.
SIR ANTH. Stay. -- Why, I thought you were looking for me? -- Pray, Jack, where is't you are going? 30
ABS. Going, sir!
SIR ANTH. Aye -- where are you going?
ABS. Where am I going?
SIR ANTH. You unmannerly puppy!
ABS. I was going, sir, to -- to -- to -- to 35 Lydia -- sir, to Lydia -- to make matters up if I could; -- and I was looking for you, sir, to -- to -----
SIR ANTH. To go with you, I suppose. -- Well, come along.
ABS. O! z--ds! no, sir, not for the world! -- 40 I wished to meet with you, sir, -- to -- to -- to----- You find it cool, I'm sure, sir -- you'd better not stay out.
SIR ANTH. Cool! -- not at all. -- Well, Jack -- and what will you say to Lydia? 45
ABS. O, sir, beg her pardon, humor her -- promise and vow: -- but I detain you, sir -- consider the cold air on your gout.
SIR ANTH. O, not at all! -- not at all! -- I'm in no hurry. -- Ah! Jack, you youngsters, when 50 once you are wounded here -- (Putting his hand to ABSOLUTE'S breast.) Hey! what the deuce have you got here?
ABS. Nothing, sir -- nothing.
SIR ANTH. What's this? -- here's something 55 d--d hard!
ABS. O, trinkets, sir! trinkets -- a bauble for Lydia!
SIR ANTH. Nay, let me see your taste. (Pulls his coat open, the sword falls.) Trinkets! -- a 60 bauble for Lydia! -- z--ds! sirrah, you are not going to cut her throat, are you?
ABS. Ha! ha! ha -- I thought it would divert you, sir; though I didn't mean to tell you till afterwards.
SIR ANTH. You didn't? -- Yes, this is a very 65 diverting trinket, truly!
ABS. Sir, I'll explain to you. -- You know, sir, Lydia is romantic -- dev'lish romantic, and very absurd of course. -- Now, sir, I intend, if she refuses to forgive me -- to unsheathe this sword -- 70 and swear -- I'll fall upon its point, and expire at her feet!
SIR ANTH. Fall upon a fiddle-stick's end! -- why, I suppose it is the very thing that would please her. -- Get along, you fool. -- 75
ABS. Well, sir, you shall bear of my success -- you shall hear. -- 'O Lydia! -- forgive me, or this pointed steel' -- says I.____________________